[ this wasn't how he wanted to get into this but: ]
well it's just as it sounds like...
the knowledge that i just... i didn't even have a single thought of "i'll get out of this somehow" or even something conditional like "i might die if i do this"
it was just "i'm going to die here and that's the only option"
that's a gruesome fate... i wonder what was the full situation and why you were part of it at all. it's usually not easy to engage into a battle where there's no way out. you would have been in some dangerous shit in the first place, probably.
you were up against a monster, right? with a sword in your hand. what did it look like?
this memory leaves more questions than answers. that person... thing monster whatever it is' power levels must be over the roof if it sends chills like that.
but what i've learned is monsters that take the shape of a human are awfully dangerous as a theme... i got a recent memory that followed the same concept.
how else should i describe it? i guess potential would be a better word.
that's pretty valiant... it sounds like you're a good guy in this past life of yours, too. this person better appreciate you. if they don't, i don't want you to hear you stick out your neck for them again.
[ But we know Takumi would be hypocritical and do the exact same thing. ]
my mother died protecting someone i don't recognize from this... figure that wielded a strange looking sword. there was an explosion and it manipulated the debris with this dark aura and shot them at her like missiles.
it apparently happened too fast for me to save her. sometimes i wonder if it's worth remembering any of this.
it's all right. there's not much to say. i've had time to overcome the initial shock.
it's not like she's actually my mother. she's alive here. i saw her earlier trying to sneak some yogurt close to midnight. it could have been someone entirely different in the memory? who knows. it's just surreal to see fantasy aspects in these visions, even if Recolle has become strange lately. we can't linger on what-ifs and these dumb flashbacks forever.
i'm trying to keep myself disconnected from these, but... it feels so real. even worse when it seems like you're helpless in them, you get what i mean?
well... yeah, i know, but whenever i have those visions, it doesn't matter if i actually know those people or not, because... in them, the feelings i experience are just as intense as they would be if it was happening to people i knew
so, yeah, i get what you mean about it feeling real. i have a hard time ... i dunno consolidating?? how i feel and... yeah
this is the result!!! me sending my friends shitposts in the early hours of the morning...
[ It takes him some time to reply because he's thinking it over again, analyzing the intense emotions that washed over him when he recalled it. It's really tiring. ]
here i wanted to forget all that. it's hard... either way, i understand since you're absolutely right on the dot. there's also something puzzling about my memory that i can't seem to figure out and it has been driving me insane. whatever. you need to be careful and not bleed your heart out, but it's not something that can be controlled.
so this is how you cope. what if i didn't reply back? wouldn't it be easier to meet up with someone?
ah well i'm sure that if things continue to progress they way they have been, we're all in for more of those visions... i'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect though
...well i mean i sent a few things to other people... and it's a little late to be meeting up with anyone, don't you think?
some people are getting some pretty normal flashbacks. in a way, i envy them, but it probably still sparks inner conflict in the individual anyway.
that's good. always confide in others and take care of yourself. also, it's almost morning. when i trained for archery, i would jog around this time with my dog, so... some people are up and out this late/early.
i wanted to compete in nationals and stuff, so yeah. it's in the past, though. i'm glad to get more sleep.
[ MOTIVATED TO DO OTHER STUFF NOW. ]
it's a bit hard to really come out with this kind of thing. usually, when you start, it doesn't stop, too. don't force yourself, but don't bottle it all up, okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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and i almost felt sentimental
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what's on YOUR mind?
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uh
it's... just that stuff i mentioned before
the vision i had
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the one where you felt like you were going to die, right?
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it was the fact i accepted it that's bothering me the most
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but i guess this is the part where you explain yourself. i'm all ears.
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well it's just as it sounds like...
the knowledge that i just... i didn't even have a single thought of "i'll get out of this somehow" or even something conditional like "i might die if i do this"
it was just "i'm going to die here and that's the only option"
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you were up against a monster, right? with a sword in your hand. what did it look like?
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...yeah, it was weird, tho... he looked almost human, but he felt like a monster, that's for sure
[ wait ]
...not literally, i mean, but i somehow just knew...
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but what i've learned is monsters that take the shape of a human are awfully dangerous as a theme... i got a recent memory that followed the same concept.
you really couldn't run from that situation?
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but what was yours about? if it's not too bothersome to tell me...
um, no. i was
i was protecting someone. i can't really remember beyond that, but it was like i knew that if i didn't try, they'd have died too
maybe i was buying them time to escape? i'm not really sure
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that's pretty valiant... it sounds like you're a good guy in this past life of yours, too. this person better appreciate you. if they don't, i don't want you to hear you stick out your neck for them again.
[ But we know Takumi would be hypocritical and do the exact same thing. ]
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it apparently happened too fast for me to save her. sometimes i wonder if it's worth remembering any of this.
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that's...
i don't know what to say...
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it sounds terrible... i don't think i could function after seeing something like that happen to my mother
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it's not like she's actually my mother. she's alive here. i saw her earlier trying to sneak some yogurt close to midnight. it could have been someone entirely different in the memory? who knows. it's just surreal to see fantasy aspects in these visions, even if Recolle has become strange lately. we can't linger on what-ifs and these dumb flashbacks forever.
i'm trying to keep myself disconnected from these, but... it feels so real. even worse when it seems like you're helpless in them, you get what i mean?
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so, yeah, i get what you mean about it feeling real. i have a hard time ... i dunno consolidating?? how i feel and... yeah
this is the result!!! me sending my friends shitposts in the early hours of the morning...
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here i wanted to forget all that. it's hard... either way, i understand since you're absolutely right on the dot. there's also something puzzling about my memory that i can't seem to figure out and it has been driving me insane. whatever. you need to be careful and not bleed your heart out, but it's not something that can be controlled.
so this is how you cope. what if i didn't reply back? wouldn't it be easier to meet up with someone?
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...well i mean i sent a few things to other people... and it's a little late to be meeting up with anyone, don't you think?
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that's good. always confide in others and take care of yourself. also, it's almost morning. when i trained for archery, i would jog around this time with my dog, so... some people are up and out this late/early.
reminds me i should probably take my dog out.
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...well i didn't say i confided in them. i just sent them images i generated...
[ look, he's still very new to this "sharing dark thoughts" thing. ]
uwah?! you did archery??? and to get up this early to train?! i could never... you're super motivated...
[ unlike him in a lot of respects... ]
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[ MOTIVATED TO DO OTHER STUFF NOW. ]
it's a bit hard to really come out with this kind of thing. usually, when you start, it doesn't stop, too. don't force yourself, but don't bottle it all up, okay?
also, send me the link to the generator.
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[ is he actually impressed or just messing with him place your bets ]
aah yeah i know
[ meaning: probably just gonna keep doing the same shit nbd ]
oh you wanna make some memories? okay, here it is! have fun!
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what does this even MEAN?
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